| I have a new love |
[15 Apr 2008|01:52am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Johnny Depp - My Friend |
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For a long time I was in love with Across the Universe. I just recently saw "Sweeney Todd" for the first time. I love it. Johnny Depp and Tim Burton did it again. Made an awesome masterpiece.
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| GOD, TAKE ME NOW!! |
[08 Apr 2008|05:47am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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Del Amitri - Tell Her This |
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How is it that when you know something is never going to change it happen all in one hour.
My husband and I have had the hardest time talking to each other. I have been trying to get him to open up and talk to me but I predict the same thing will happen ever time. It scares him when I told him exactly what he was going to do and he did it. I guess in a way he stopped and saw that what he was doing is hiding from what he was really wanting to say. When he say "whatever" (after you have made it seem that he was wrong) means that "you are right and i’m going to try harder to listen to you".
I sat down and told him how I have felt this whole time we have been together and he really saw why i worry so much. I hate that once he leaves the house he will make worst decisions that effect me. Tonight ,for instance, he left the house when he was sick and hung out at his friends house. I never mind him hanging out with any of his friends but he needed to get better because he stayed out of work today. He decide to drink a beer with his friend after he took his antibiotics and he of course got so sick (he puked). Why am I not surprised you asked, well he never does the right thing.
When I asked him if he had a beer he lied and said nope. I told him that morning before I left that he shouldn’t drink any alcohol when he is on that medicine. He lied because he remember that i said that to him and he tucked his tail. He didn’t come home until 2 hours later because he knew that i would see that he got worst by doing so and i would catch him in his lies.
Why do guys lie? To hide their pride for a short bit so us women wont use it against them. Why did he lie? I don’t know really but it something that he now knows that its the only thing i get paranoid about. I can smell that he is lying as soon as he does it.
Well to sum this up, we are going to express ourself a little more. I keep thing bundled up and let it all out at once and he fibs the truth so he doesn’t take his pride away. He just doesn’t want me to thing that he cant do it without me. Its hard to give up and let someone help you but its even harder to get your man to give that up to you.
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| ugggg |
[25 Mar 2008|01:26am] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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I hate that whenever my son get sick, i get it too. I hate bring sick, especially when i am pregnant. I cant take nyquil and stay mess up so i don't feel like crap. Tussin dm or benadryl is all i can take. I hate it. I can't wait until get to go to the doctor. I'll get some good stuff, maybe. It depends because the doctor doesn't even want me to get 100% better quick. It doesn't hurt the baby when i am sick but it hurts me!! Oh well what is ever best for the baby. Later, i am going to take some more tussin.
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| Hello to all again |
[21 Mar 2008|11:41pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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#1 crush - garbage |
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I have been looking around at the internet and I forgot about my live journal account. I have done alot since the last update. I have a little boy who is my whole world. I can't imagine if I never have had him. I would be bored and lonely all the time. I'm so lucky to have him. He will be 3 yrs old in July. I am also going to be having another bundle of joy. I am so excited about it. Chris really needs someone to play with and get into trouble with. I love the relationship I got with my sister so I want that for my son. I enjoy calling her; talking to her like nothing will ever happen to that friendship. It was hard to listen to her when we were younger but she got use to me. lol.
I also got married to the man of my dreams (literally he was in all my dreams). I can't imagine us not being together. We have the best relationship. I love him with all my heart and he is the best dad. He has been there for both us. Teaching him to say words, playing games, and helping him to learn his manners. If he ever left me then I wouldn't be complete. He would be the missing piece of my puzzle.
To think when I started to write in this journal back when I was 14 that I would be married and have a child. No I could never imagine this. I am ready to complete the rest of my life with the two best men in the world. Lots of love, Bex
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| HELLO WORLD OUT THERE |
[30 Aug 2006|03:26pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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Nickleback - Far Away |
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I have been out of the internet world for too long. I had my heathy baby boy on 7-17-05 at 5:03am central time. He is my pride and joy. I am now living with a new love of my life. I was reading over my livejoural over the past 3 years and i have spoke this guy over and over in here. But the funny thing is that i never said his name. His name is Jacob, which is the mystery man i talk about in one entry. I love him so much and has been apart of christopher's life since he has been born. i have a new job at jcpenney catalog. I is fun working there. Well got to run out the door.
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| check out this site... |
[11 Apr 2005|07:16pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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George Thurogood - Who Do You Love |
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If you like it make sure sign up when you click on the link so i can get credit for refering you guys.
www.startsampling.com
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| GUess who back... |
[02 Apr 2005|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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music |
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Linkin Park/ Jay Z - Numb |
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Sorry that I haven't been posting. I can't believe that it has been a whole year. Well 3 words can sum up this past year. Apartment, pregnant, and single. My ex-bf got kicked out of his house so we got an apartment together. I got pregnant and he tried to make me have an mis-carriage. So now he is gone and I have nothing to do with him. I am now living back with my parents so now I have internet. It was hard living on your own but i survive. Nothing more to say really.
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| party girl |
[10 Feb 2004|07:30pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Die Trying - Oxygen's Gone |
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I am always on the go now. I am either working, clubbin, shopping, or sleeping. Never a quiet moment with me.
I am back with my old bf Ryne. I told him to never talk to me and all he has been doing since I left him is talking about how he missed me to everyone at his work. I stop by his work and talk to the ppl there. They tell me that he keeps asking about me and was worried about me. I saw his yesterday in Kroger's (his work) and pulled him aside. I asked him, "why care about me when you loose me but not care at all when you have me." He told me that he was scared to show how he really feels. I shook my head and invited him to hang out with me later. Of course he agreed and I picked him up at work later. When he got in the car he reached over and gave me the sweetest kiss. I thought I would never feel like this about a guy but I think I am in love. I can't let him know but he has tried to get me to say that I love him because he can see it in my eyes.
Too many guys that I went through to find one who cares about me. Ryan from the club who hurt me so bad. Charlie who wanted a relationship with me and never called back. Jeremy who wants to hook-up with all my friends instead of me. In conclusion, I should never try because it works out better that way.
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| Pissed and need some love.... |
[13 Dec 2003|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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Puddle of Mudd - Away From Me |
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I am so fucking depressed. I have had the worst last 3 days of my life. My friend Brandy doesn't want to hang out with since Sunday. She came by on Thursday night to pick me up to take me back but my parents were being fuck jackasses and wouldn't let me go. I could've went but my mom threaten me that if I don’t go with her that night to get dress shoes then I won't have any for a week. I needed those damn shoes for work so I couldn't go. Last night, she calls me when I was going to Melia's place and told me to turn around because she wanted to hang out with me. I, of course, did what she said and stayed at my house until she got there...or didn't get there. Yep, I gave a night up with one of my other friends so I could sit by the door to wait on Brandy who never even bothered to call me or tell me that she is not picking me up. I guess you can say that Brandy has me wrapped around her finger.
My parents think that they know me or any of my friends?! I am about to fucking explode from them telling me what to do. First, it started out that they saw my smoke pouch that I got and knew what was in it. They started to tick me off when they kept asking me "why do you smoke?" and "don’t you know that it is bad for you?” Of course I know you, dumbass! I would stop if it is that easy on me and if I want to stop. The last time I tried to stop smoking was for all the wrong reasons. I wasn't stopping to help myself but to get a guy to like me. Bad decision.
Then they have the fucking nerve to say anything about Ryne and me. I told my parents that I am only buy certain ppl presents this year. When I said that Ryne was going to get me a gift, they said "What makes you that he is actuarially going to get you anything?" My mother doesn't love me at all. Yeah she will take me to work instead of letting me drive but when it comes to me making my own decision, she has to make it for me. She doesn't understand that...HELLO IM 18! I need to move out when ever I can.
Ryne is being distant with me but I need a guy that I can run to if I need him so I can't just throw him aside. I wish that he would call me so I don’t have to sit by this phone. Anyways, I hung out with him on Wednesday, which was not a pleasant trip with him at all. One of his friends stopped him in the mall and asked him who I was. His friends first said "is she your girl? Your mom? Your sister? Who is she?" Ryne didn't answer him and shook his head everytime he said gf.
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| I had a great day...so what? |
[09 Dec 2003|02:18am] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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music |
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KoRn - All in the Family |
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I love my life. I got a job, my nails done finally, and a boyfriend. I am having a great day.
I first stopped by the mall to get a job when I notice that they were having a deal go on at this new nail place. The lady said that she would give me a French manicure for $10! I couldn't just walk by when I knew that I needed to get them done so I gave in. I love looking at them because they look so real. I love them so much.
After having my nails done, Hecht's is hiring so I went straight there. I was wearing a very nice outfit. I love my hair which was natural wavy and didn't look messy. I took time out and did my make up too. And now my nails are all pretty so I am so ready for this interview. I get there and she takes me right back. Sets up a schedule for me and I am working 9-5 on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Also I'm working 9-1 on Saturday then going over to brandy's with my bf. I am getting $6.75 an hr. I am just seasonal but I might get a permit position if I work hard.
My bf called me tonight and I am picking him up on Wednesday. I can't wait to see him because he has changed since I left for my grandmother's house. I think he knows that if he pisses me off again then I would go up there and stay. He is very sensitive to my needs then his own. He is even getting me an expensive gift for Christmas. I am just hopeing that it is not a ring. lmao.
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| Check this out.... |
[30 Nov 2003|02:00am] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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A Perfect Circle - Hopeless |
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My cousin, Jason, showed me this site in which has the most hilarious thing on it. It is talking abt how this illegal immigrant is getting paid less then americans. The host was agreeing that they should get paid under then americans. Then this guy called in to the station and made this statement that i won't forget. Read this:
Host "Hello, you're on the air."
Me "Yes, I'm calling to side with the lawyer."
Host "Why?"
Me "Because saying that an illegal immigrant doesn't deserve to be paid the same wages as an American because he doesn't belong here in the first place is like saying that a person trapped in a well shouldn't be saved because he shouldn't have been playing around the well in the first place."
Host (pause)
"Yeah... that's a good point."
http://maddox.xmission.com/ - this is the site
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| Can't sleep... |
[28 Nov 2003|06:55am] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Coda - Simon Says |
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I keep think about a guy that I know which is making me not sleep. That guy is a mystery to all you live journal peoples. I need to get over it but it seems to come back to me like a fly to the light.
I am staying with my grandmother so I can help her put up her christmas. Ever year she wants me to come up here after thanksgiving and help her. I finally said yes so I can also get a job here then I can move out of my house and be on my own for once. It might not be easy but I am willing to do anything to get my own place. I was going to ask my grandmother for her car but because i don't have a job...i have no reason to have it.
Ryne has finally got me screwed up. He calls me all the damn time asking for me to come see him...that he misses me. The last time I came down there, he stood me up on the money that would've got me home that night. Instead I stayed by myself waiting for some gas(which took 3 hrs.). I never want to see him again and I wish that I could get a guy that would treat me like a women instead of a sex toy. FYI: The guy I was talking about earlier isn't ryne.
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| I'm spinning out of control.... |
[15 Nov 2003|09:59am] |
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mood |
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rushed |
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music |
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Hoobastank - Out Of Control |
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Ryne and me are finally back together. I am letting the world know because I have been so confused this whole time I have been around him. I am happy that it is all settled.
I love it when my parents want to surprise me. Especially when it is for a rummage sale that they want me to help them with. I put up with all the shit and helped them out all day long and in the end I got $15. Then I called Amy and went to the bowling alley, which took me forever to find. I didn't get to bowl because by the time I got there, they were ready to jet. I went over to sonic with Amy and her boy. We shared a thing of cheese tatter-tots. Mmmmm, they were yummy.
It was about 9ish after we ate so I told Amy that I wanted to go see Ryne before I head back to Nashville. Which at this point and time, Ryne and Amy are not talking to each other. So when Ryne got off, he left Krogers and didn’t even say Goodbye to me. I got real pissed off so I paged him so that way he would call me. He told me that he didn’t want to get out or hang out. I informed him that this is the only night I can get out so if he wanted to see me that he would have to get out now. About that time Amy walks over to the car and says that she is going to leave because she needs to get her boy home. Once Ryne knew that Amy wasn't hanging out with me, then he wanted to see me. I think that it is childish on what is going on and I wish that he would grow up.
Melia b-day was yesterday so I had to see her so I took Ryne to Melia's place and we drank some Strawberry Daiquiris. I gave one to Melia for her b-day, seeing which I forgot to grab a present for her. She had a pretty good party going on but Ryne needed to get home so we left and did our own thing. Anyways, I had an inventfull night and wish to have more.
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| Some time i feel like this..... |
[11 Nov 2003|09:53am] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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A Perfect Circle - Judith (Renholder Mix) |
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You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I'll never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you
Fuck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why
It's not like you killed someone
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
He did it all for you
Oh so many many ways for me to show you
How your dogma has abandoned you
Pray to your Christ, to your god
Never taste of the fruit
Never stray, never break
Never---choke on a lie
Even though he's the one who did this to you
You never thought to question why
Not like you killed someone
It's Not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side
Talk to Jesus Christ
As if he knows the reasons why
He did it all for you
Did it all for you
He did it all for you..
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[10 Nov 2003|03:22am] |
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mood |
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moody |
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music |
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Korn - Right Now (Bust U Up Version) |
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I am a whore and a bum. I haven't got a job yet and has been living off my parents. I am a whore because I have been sleeping around alot. This past week though I haven't because I got involve with one of the guy that I slept with. He was the only one that made sense to me to stay with. All the others were just wanting to fuck me and leave me which I really don’t care either. I only have to say that Ryne is the first guy that has got me so confused on his feelings then my own. Joel was right when he told me that it might be more then just fuck buddies.
I have been hanging out with Amy alot over this past two weeks. I really missed hanging out with her and now she can get away an hour or so after work so we can hang out. I think my friend Brandy is jealous because I have been hanging out with other people then her. I really love my brandy I wish that we can hang out more.
Jacob came by to see me on the 10th of October and I haven't seen him since. I really wish I can figure him out but I guess I can never figure out someone who wants to be alone. I want to see him again but I wont be able to be with him because I moved on without him. If only he knew how much I really wanted to get to know him and be with him, maybe he would have stayed around. I love ya Jacob and wish that we could've been something.
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| Clubbin |
[10 Oct 2003|12:15am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Chingy - Right Thurr |
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I am not really look around for a job. I have been thinking about moving to Knoxville and living there. My grandparents are going to let me stay with them while i get a job around there. Other than that, nothing has been going on. I have been out every night with my friends and been clubbin. Tommorrow, I am finally getting into Stampede so I will give you an update on that on the next entry.
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| Okay I'm going to be fine... |
[17 Sep 2003|08:52pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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Die Trying - Oxygen's Gone |
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Well my best friend,jeremy, just informed me that Jacob has told him that he doesn't want to mess with me. That I am "weirding" him out. I then fell to the floor when he told me. The entire time I was at my grandparent's house I knew that at least he still like me and dont care about my age. I was so wrong about that because if i would've told him my real age then I would probally be still with him. I am 17 but i am turning 18 in 2 weeks so i don’t see what the problem is. If he really did like me then who wouldn't care what my age is. I cried for the past 2 days about it but I am over it now. I realized that if he like me at all then he would look over my age and stay friends with me at least. Jeremy sure did so why cant everyone be as understanding as he is.
I need to get my depressed ass up and get a job. Once I get a job then I can go out more with my friends and get drunk off my ass! I have put in applications everywhere! I am just sitting back and waiting for them to call me. I can't wait until I move out too. I can come home at anytime that I want to. I want to move out with my friend Amy but she said that her dad said that she can't move out until she 21. Thats 3 years! I want to move out now damn it! Oh well, I will have to stay with Chris until then.
Hopefully, Jeremy will call me back tonight. He might come over and hang out because I really want to chill with him and not go anywhere. He has been real nice and understanding to me since the whole Jacob thing. When Jeremy found out that I was 17, he was like oh well that why you can't cig, oh well thats cool. Everyone said that but only Jeremy stood behind his word when he said well that cool, I just didn’t know. He also told me to never lie to him again or else. In memory of Jeremy I was listening to Verve pipe - Bittersweet Symphony all day long. Thats all I have to report. Later-days.
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| Another night of drunken' love.... |
[14 Sep 2003|02:15am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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music |
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Mudvayne - Not Falling |
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I am a drunk! I went to the liquor store and got some vodka. I got so drunk to where I couldn't control myself. I remember everything when I am drunk but I can't restrain myself. I took darrick with me when I got drunk so he drove me back to his place before I drove home. Darrick is a real good friend to me.
I spoke with Jacob finally. It was a 10 minute conversation about nothing. He said that he need to call someone and that he would call me right back. Liar, he never did. I am going to call him tomorrow and just let him know that it is over unless he wants to come and make it up to me. He did tell me that he doesn’t have time for a relationship but the only thing that this boy has to do is smoke weed. I adore him too much to do this but I think it would be the best on me. I don’t need his ass. I am still drunk so I am kinda venting here.
I can't wait until I get to see my buddy Zak. He rocks! I am going up to Memphis at the end of October so I should have a job by then. Well I want to leave now but no money. Anyways, I am going to get off here with my drunken self and get some rest. Later days.
"Just grab your shit, and leave with it
They won't make no statues of you" - Nickelback "Hangnail"
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